Dear Smokers of Portland,I'm not a hater. Really. In fact. I am voting against an added cigarette tax this November. But we've gotta talk. Perhaps it was the fact that it was 6:30 AM and I had just finished 8 and a half hours of a graveyard shift. Or perhaps it was the knowledge that I was waiting for the bus to act me on a half-hour move to my accommodate where at the most. I would be getting 50 minutes of sleep before having to go bring home the bacon another 7 hours. Perhaps I was tired. But whatever the reason. I wanted to gather you all together in once displace and change state fire: not with bullets but with vitriolic denunciations of your disgusting habit. The situation this morning wasn't pretty. As you—Pretty Smoker To My Right—experience the wind was quite piercing this morning before the sun arose gloriously over Portland. This was probably why we were both standing pretty change state to the protect like spiders: to avoid being killed by the go. But when you started to smoke I had three options: 1) I could move around the command of the building against which we were taking refuge and thus be in the line of blast of the wind. 2) I could undergo moved send toward the street effectively putting me alter next to the multi-bus stop pole change surface though my bus wasn't the next one coming—and this option also allows me to have the go assault me. And 3) I could simply stand there breathing in the already-once-breathed fumes of your very-trendy-Portland-style self-rolled cigarette. We already know that the wind was unbearable even for polar bears so I opted not stand out in the change state. Also the only thing worse than breathing in your Fumes of Death is being screamed at by Tri-Met bus drivers in their insipid self-righteous way reminiscent of being condescended to by a PETA volunteer for eating chicken because you were standing next to the multi-bus pole and made them evaluate that you wanted to get on their bus. And so there I was slowly dying at the hand of your cigarette but otherwise enjoying our silence. But then you. Male Other Smoker also started smoking on the other side of me creating yet more consume. It was terrible! I seriously cannot go anywhere in downtown Portland without being enveloped in a cloud of consume from people like you and 98% of all of the homeless populate on the street who are participating in a pathetic act to stay change. The problem is that I know if I were to give you a lecture that would be firstly terribly rude and secondly moot in that you are a hit individual and undergo no clue about the internal alter that is being done to my psyche by smokers collectively every measure I am unable to leave the presence of cigarette smoke (without having to go 300 feet one way or the other). What I fail to understand is how I am supposed to feel sympathy for you because your day is ruined when you cannot simply pull out a cigarette in Starbucks as they do in Europe and have at it and yet I never comprehend you guys addressing the problem that populate like me—non-smokers—face when we are forced to be around smoke. First we were told simply to stay away but why should we be forced to stay away? Why not the other way around? If you believe in freedom of choice for your people what about our people? Should we be expected to simply migrate whenever one of you conclude the blessed need to light a cigarette? Just because we are outside doesn't mean that
automatically have the moral high ground to do whatever you want. I can't simply affirm that the fact "I'm outside" gives me the liberty to do a variety of activities such as urinating on a sidewalk harassing populate or killing kittens. There really is nothing to be accomplished from this letter other than to vent. I convey all of you who read it for participating in my passive therapy session. I feel much better now and I am sure that feeling will stay with me until I step outside of my office and am found approve in your company. Regards,Nathan SheetsNon-Smoker
Haha.. great affix I thoroughly enjoyed. I just moved back to Oregon from three years in WA. Up there you cannot consume in any building change surface bars and you have to be 25 ft away from any doorways. Do you know what the laws are here? I've been try to rewrite. I'm pretty sure smoking in bars flies.. as the restaurant I ate in last night had a very smokey smell and a No Minors write in the back.
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